Loving Others Better

By Lauren Madsen

It was not my finest moment. The rest of the day (and even days later) I kept replaying the conversation, trying to figure out what I could have done differently. It had started out as an ordinary exchange between friends: How are you doing? Are your kids feeling better? What is going on with this weather? But then, a recent event was mentioned—an event that had filled my social media and news feeds with hate-filled dialogues and commentaries. Soon it was clear the five of us friends did not see what had recently happened the same way. I could feel my muscles tensing as my heart started pounding. My passionate reaction during our discussion had not helped the situation, and I knew it. Eventually there was a change of subject, my heart rate slowed, and I took a few deep breaths.

Later, as I looked back on this conversation, I felt two things: guilt for letting my emotions take charge and a strong resolve to not let it happen again. Over the days that followed, I was slowly being taught that when I immerse myself in the loud voices of the world, even if they are voices I agree with, I allow myself to get “stirred up”—something Jesus warned the people about in 3rd Nephi: “[The devil] stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.”

When I shared the experience with my husband he told me that in the last few weeks he has taken an intentional step back from listening to certain podcasters and commentators and is working on curating his social media feed, all as a way to love better. By being proactive and not getting swept up into all the news and chaos of the day, he has found it much easier to love his neighbor, the second great commandment.

Since that chat with my husband I have also been more intentional in what I consume everyday. I am making an important shift within myself to better live in this contention-filled world. I have also been more intentional in my temple service and worship. 

Truman G. Madsen testified in an article he wrote called The Temple and the Atonement: “The temple is many things: a house of faith, a house of study, a house of learning, a house of order, a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of glory. But surrounding all of those, it is a house of love. None of us receives enough love in this world, none of us. We’re all in a measure love-starved and love-anxious. The Father and the Son call us to come in the spirit of sacrifice and be surrounded by that holy environment which embraces us in love.” He also wrote: “Temple ordinances are designed to penetrate all levels of our consciousness, to dig into our frail flesh, and to melt and meld our hearts into oneness with ourselves, each other, and with [Christ].”

If you are struggling to feel peace with all that is going on in the world, or wondering how you can feel more love for others, I recommend taking a good look at what you are consuming. Is it uplifting and edifying, or is it keeping you on your phone in an endless doomscroll of rage? Being an informed citizen on the earth is important, but if the cost is a heart full of hate, it isn’t worth it. We should do what the Spirit guides us to do, knowing we cannot fix all the suffering or right all the injustices. Jesus Christ will do that one day. We can commit to loving God and loving our neighbor, and exercise discernment in how our daily living is helping us toward that goal. I also recommend spending more time in the temple if you can. The temple is the Lord’s House, and you will find Him there, ready to love you and teach you how to love as He does.